Friday Night, March 14th at Friendly Confines

We have a gig (Rock City) that sounds like a really good time. This is actually my favorite part, savoring the possibilities, the crowd, hitting all the high notes, getting some of those fleeting moments of time on stage that actually are like a runner's high. The diner is a franchise, Friendly Confines, but the building used to McWells. I've never been there, but I've been told that the stage was designed with bands in mind, which is not always the case.
What I'm excited about is that it could be anything. I just watched a science show about "Free Will" and can see how this applies. I cannot control physics, or most things, but I can be as prepared as possible, and that is what I like to do. So, if it's an empty house or standing-room only, I'm ready. I hope you can be there....

Rock City and the Future of Things..

This photo is of me and the boys in Rock City, hanging out in a backroom before we went on stage for a really rare gig for us: playing at a wedding! And let me say, that was no ordinary wedding. The table centerpieces were replicas of silenced automatic pistols, with flowers in them and the groom was about my age, marrying a fairly young woman. Most of the attendees were supposed to be bikers, but truthfully, they seemed like any other group you might see at a wedding. I did notice that it did not take much booze for them to have a good time. It was a night that I will treasure. I only wish that my wife could have been there to see what I saw..
Life right now is truly that phrase: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I'm having a blast performing on stage and doing better at surfing than at any other time of my life. My Mom is sick and work just seems like they would rather not have any old guys working there. Actually all of these things make perfect sense when you stand back, but when you go through them minute by minute, it is not quite as thrilling. I still stand by my thought that the near future is a wide open as it was when I was looking at the end of college and had no idea if I would have a job, get married, have kids, any of it. For all I know right now, I'm looking at the day before I find out just what I'm really capable of in life, or I find out what it's like to be counting your pennies. It's not always exactly what I want to face, but it beats the hell out of BORING....

The Curse of Living in Interesting Times

A stupid boilerplate phrase to ask employees still haunts me from years ago, when Glen Miller, the then director of the Orange County Library system posed it for me during a review: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
I came back with the wrong rejoinder: Where do you see ME 5 years from now? His answer, doing the same thing you're doing now....
He was wrong, and he was wrong for both of us. The reason it still haunts me is because of how wrong he was.
I left my job of 22 years and left for a whole different field, working for a company that promised a revolving door of staff coming and going, and included in that promise that no matter what, it wasn't going to be boring.
Glen Miller? He ended up retiring soon after that, under fire from his board, and died from a heart attack only one year into his retirement. It was a huge lesson to me, that when we predict the future, we are mostly saying things will continue on just like they are now...even though we know better.
Essentially, the difference for 2014, is that I would not even dare to predict 6 months into the future. I really have no idea of what is coming except some exciting times, sleepless nights, and the sureness that no matter what...it won't be boring..

A Most Interesting December

This has been a truly unusual month and year. It's probably one of the hottest Decembers on record, but the water is cold enough. Last weekend I surfed in a shorty, and it was enough. There were a few northerners out in the water without wetsuits, but it looked odd.
I injured my arm lifting dumbells too much, and am going on the 3rd week without weightlifting. I guess I thought I was unbreakable, and now I have a clicking forearm that sometimes hurts from just picking up a cup of coffee.
Music is going on, with Rock City averaging 2 gigs a month, which seems to be just often enough that I stay excited about being performance-ready. I have about the best gear setup I could ask for, and all that is left is for me to rehearse enough that I don't have to worry about remembering songs on stage.
If I can find a theme in my writing this year, it is 'be here now', and I'm really working on that. Sometimes there are these lulls, that make you think, hurry up and let's see what happens next. But, just like in music and writing, it is the quiet that prepares you for the exciting parts.
One thing I noticed by sitting quietly when I can, is that everybody really has something of their own to worry about. I tend to think that my problems are the biggest, I mean I know better, but the tendency seems to be that I think there is a simpler existence that most people get to enjoy. It's only when you stop and observe that you see the struggles going on, that you are to see the reality: the struggles are everywhere and constant. Once again today, as I was driving to work, I saw the old guy that looks like he belonged in the Civil War, hobbling down the street. I have jogged by him on the sidewalk, and up close I realized that he is probably my age. Somewhere nearby, he has a family and they worry about him, and they do their best to keep him safe while allowing him the freedom to live the life he can. This is interesting, because I used to just see some old homeless bum that had wandered into the street of my town....

I Can't Complain But Sometimes I Still Do

For over 40 years now I have been reminding myself of something that is very easy to understand...the days after my Dad come home from 7 years in a POW camp in Hanoi. How could I ever complain about any inconvenience in life that would not pale in comparison that time?
This was not a prison where you get out when your time is up, this was a prison where they could kill you when they pleased. To them, you were a war criminal. There was no guarantee of release or even living to see the next day.
My coffee is not hot enough? My boss doesn't appreciate me enough? We laugh and call these "First World Problems" now days. The strange thing is that even my Dad succumbs to this sometimes, and then we smile and remember, no matter what we have now, it beats the hell out of what used to be...

The Future

Man, I have no idea. I can't even see 6 month's out right now. My plans are for the next weekend, and then the next vacation adventure. Thoughts are about a car trip up the east coast, flying up to the backwoods of Maine, cruising in Alaska, or even contemplating a 6 month stretch of 'whatever'. I don't know because my job is changing and I was told that whatever happens, next year will be different. The things I do now will no longer be relevant, so I'm busy learning the things that I think might be useful down the road. That is quite a change, because most of the time I am busy making things work and learning more about the tools I use every day. It's a challenge, and a bit exciting actually, because I don't really desire a life where nothing ever changes. I still cannot imagine a life where I am retired and have 7 days a week to do what I try to cram into a weekend now. I watch my wife settle down with a book for half of the day and just don't see me doing that. I see me looking at rivers to paddle, waves to surf and trails to ride. If I have one hope it is that I somehow manage to have the energy to do those things when I get the opportunity. One thought does come around recently, is that I'd better grab my pieces of retirement where I can get them.

Having It All

I did pretty much feel like I had it all the middle of this October. I was going on what I expected to be a bland week at the beach, wondering what toys I should take to stave off the boredom of rainy days spent in a small room at a beach that I spent almost every weekend at for most of my life. Instead, we got a really nice room on the 5th floor, the best weather anyone had seen for months and a swell that would not die. The kicker was that I had a gig on Friday and Saturday night, and we hadn't played for a while, so I found a routine that lasted the whole week: get up before dawn, eat, practice music while waiting for sunrise, and continuing to practice until I saw someone else out in the water. Then I would grab Pam's beach chair and umbrella, plant those things on the beach and head out into the water. It wasn't a perfect swell, long lines, glassy, and a little deep in the mornings to break well on the outside, but with my paddleboard, I was king. I have never ridden so many waves in such a short time in my life. It got to the point where I would take my camera out and have 10 waves recorded before I was even thinking about what I wanted to shoot. I decided to explore and spent two different days working my way down to the pier from our condo, which was about a 60 minute paddle each way. I know that there have been many moments in my life where I wondered if I could surf better if I had more opportunities to surf, and now I am sure of it. You get to the point of where you are sure of what is going to happen next. You don't have to visualize it, you don't have to think about it, you just do it, same as I get up and run 5 miles. I don't wonder if I can make it the whole way, I just go. Life was simple that week. I surfed until I could hardly drag my board back to the car, and then read on the beach with Pam, and would ponder what new place to try out for dinner that night. Every night was something fun, tasty and interesting. Who could ever believe that plain old ordinary Cocoa Beach could hold such thrills. One day, I surfed until lunchtime and finally said, let's go to Sebastian Inlet, as I knew Pam wanted a little change of scenery. We stopped along the way to some of my old surf spots from high school and beyond and finally ended up at the primo surf spot of Florida. Surprisingly, no one was surfing. The swell was coming out of the NE at exactly the wrong direction and the waves were breaking into the jetty. That didn't matter though, because the fishing was going off on the jetty. Only a few times in life have I seen that many people catching fish at the same time. Birds were all around, baitfish hitting the topwater and pole after pole was bent over double as people were getting Jack and Redfish. There were some happy fisherfolks out there and we had a blast just watching the action. You know, I love to travel and see new exciting places, but sometimes, it feels good enjoying what's right there in front of you.