Being Chased By Shadows

I was up for a long run yesterday. It was to be a five miler on a really nice winter Florida day. The temperature was in the 50's and the sky was as blue as it gets. I had finished over 3 miles of the run at my own leisurely pace, just taking in the day and feeling happy about having a day off from work, when I saw it.
If you knew much about me, you'd know that I'm known more as a soul surfer than as a competitive type, but a number of times lately I had felt challenged when another runner passed me by on the sidewalk. One time it was two ladies that were much older than me and promised myself it would not happen again.
So, there I was just doing my thing, when I saw the shadow of someone behind me, catching up quick. I thought to myself, "Not today, buddy!" and poured on the speed. I was running about as fast as I could and watching my heartrate monitor showing me numbers that I usually never see. I was coming up to the footbridge and knew he could not pass me there, so I ran just a little harder to keep ahead. I passed the bridge and was feeling like I could lay off a bit, but the shadow was creeping up again. The next section was uphill and I started thinking that if this guy was young and in really good shape I could not keep the lead, but I could at least make him wish he had never smoked a day in his life, and then gave it everything I had. I stretched my legs out wide and killed that hill. I knew that I had used up whatever extra energy I had, and was going to have to stop and let this guy take over. At least I wanted to turn around and see him red in the face and burning with the effort it took to pass the bald-headed old guy. I stopped and turned with hands on hips to watch an old man on a bicycle turn and cross the road....

Do As I Say..

Do you ever have one of those moments where confusion crosses your mind like fast-moving clouds in the sky? The phrase for this on Fark.com is "wait a minute...." and that is what happened to me yesterday.

While taking a leisurely cruise up the coast of Florida, my wife and decided to stop at Marineland, a place of excitement in our youth. A place that stood up there with Silver Springs and WeekeeWachie, entertainment meccas that are either gone or reduced to almost nothing. The arrival of Disney, Universal Studios and Sea World in Orlando back in the 70's really killed these small-town places. Now Marineland is a place to go have a session in the water with dolphins for a few hundred bucks...and there is no big line of customers waiting to do that. We paid the $8 general admission fee to come in and look around and it was more fun than I would have thought. I watched the dolphins playing and getting trained by the young women and asked one of the women about dolphin behavior in the wild. Specifically, I was asking about dolphins mostly ignoring me altogether when I was surfing or kayaking, but occasionally seeing a couple in south Florida come up to the boat looking for handouts. She then started off on a lecture about how it's illegal to feed dolphins and that some fishermen caused all this and are disrupting the environment. I questioned that a bit, because everywhere I go I see pelicans coming around docks for fish scraps. If someone is teaching a few pelicans how to do that, then we need to learn that process for our own school system. As she went on about how delicate the dolphins are in the wild, my eyes wandered back to the pools behind her, watching the trainer holding a small bait fish up in the air for the dolphin to jump up and catch. I remembered that a bird trainer once told me that the way to train animals with food is to keep them hungry, and then it occurred to me that the dolphins I saw in south Florida at least had a choice about where their food came from....

I'd Rather You Think I'm a Moron

Boy have I been here before. I can still remember clearly, being somewhere in my 30's, standing in a music store trying to trade in a piece of gear for something new that I thought I needed. The young sales guy took a look at my old junk stuff I wanted to trade and earnestly suggested that I might try taking an ad out in the classified section of the newspaper. I looked up sharply, hoping to spot a trace of sarcasm crossing his face, but his expression was total deadpan. Did he truly think that I had never seen a newspaper, never looked at the used gear ads, got to my 30's without ever selling one thing in the newspaper? I realized then that either he was a idiot, or he thought I was.
Flash forward to the present. I'm now in my mid-fifties and this young hotshot shows me how quickly he could answer my tough question with a google search. I was taken aback once again. Does he really think I could have survived over 15 years in IT without having used google? I can't even think of a day when I didn't do at least one search on it. Continuing in that vein, if you send somebody a link from a google search and pronounce, TA DA!, problem solved....it's probably a good idea if you look at the link and make sure it really does what you think.
On the other hand, I much prefer my adversaries to believe that I am a moron....it comes in handy later.

The Kindling Wood

It's time again for the office shuffle, and myself and some others will get packed up and moved to another location. Why? Man, we could not take Why.. We just know it is for the good of somebody, not sure who. I think about how I've gotten used to the current spot and what I will be giving up, and spend way too much time worrying about that. My brain is way too powerful for this kind of thinking, and then I finally start to get it..
This is the kindling wood for my brain. This is the time I spend on Craigslist looking at gear I don't need, the time I spend worrying about politics that I can't change, the time I spend worrying about futures that are out of my control. It's like some big fire in my head that sometimes goes low, and perhaps almost goes out when I watch too much television. It's building back up now, the thought of change and the possibility of losing some part of me that is important, and my mind resists, stoking that fire and then looking for the big cordwood, the big tough problems in life and family. It comes to me then that I am surrounded by great people and life is full and the fire is burning as high and as hot as ever. Christmas is coming, surfing is going great, and music is full of possibilities. The desk, the cube, the office life, well that is just a place to sit down and rest from the big important things. Besides, I already got the best words from a country song: it ain't like I've never been here before, I'm just here again...

Chillin' With The Boys

I finally ended up driving to the campground Saturday morning, cold and rainy the whole way, wondering what good could come of this. My brother and Dad were hanging out there already, most likely huddling around the heater in my Dad's old camper trailer. It looked like the whole weekend was a wipe and then it cleared up around noon. Then four of us went for a long hike around the park and during that time we found that my Dad had been just about any place in Florida that you could imagine. It turned out to be the perfect weekend to sit around the campfire and we did a whole lot of that. It's interesting how things change when there is no television, no internet and nothing much else to do. Of course, the one difference was that everyone had smartphones and even while having the old-fashioned fireside political talks, each of us was checking our email, so perhaps it was not quite like the good old days, but it was close enough!

The Next Adventure - Tomoka

Today I'm heading on another adventure after working a short day. My brother and I are heading up to Tomoka State Park, which is right on the salt water, near the ocean, but in the woods. It's definitely a Florida kind of spot, not at all pretending to be up in the mountains. We're meeting up with the guys in the extended family, or at least the ones that are still going after seeing the weather report. The weather this weekend is not for sissies, at least Florida sissies. Cold and rainy is the expectation and I think most of the guys have less than fond memories of our last trip, early on this year when it went into the 20 degree area. Yes sir, I should certainly find something to write about this weekend! But, hanging with the boys and being the voice of reason while I hear all about how Obama has messed it all up, that should be worth the price of admission alone...

Spending the Holidays in Florida

Even after a lifetime, Florida seems like a strange place in the wintertime. I went surfing last weekend and while the air was cold enough for a sweatshirt, the water was still 72 degrees, which felt like it was helping keep me warm.
This morning I went out for the paper and the air temp is in the 70's, almost muggy warm. That is supposed to change as I'm heading out on a camping trip in what might be cold, rainy weather.
I look around at the Christmas decorations and think I'm really going to need that Charlie Brown Christmas music to get things going. One year I bought that album with the Jazz piano group playing that song that they must really get sick of being asked to play. It's really odd that I love that whole package, the song and the little cartoon special. It seems so minimalist now, but the idea that I sat as a kid and watched a show about a kid being depressed at Christmas, makes me feel that even way back then we knew that we needed to get back to the spirit of things.
Charlie Brown had the snow and the ice skating, but even in Florida, without all those trappings, Florida, the land of the Christmas Palm tree, we still know what the celebration is really about.

Some Days You Need a Reason To Smile

I don't know why, bad dreams or what, but I just woke up with a frown on my face this morning and the thought "another day, another dollar". What I needed was something to pick me up. The newspaper isn't here yet, the coffee doesn't taste right and there were dirty dishes in the sink...but then I open up iPhoto and all is forgiven. If I ever wondered for a minute why I take so many pictures, I now know why. They always have the ability to put a smile on my face, and this one did it for me today. If you were missing that smile, I hope this shot helps you as well!

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

It's strange how we pick what we are afraid of. Like me, I'm scared to death of roller coasters and can't think of a single reason to get on one, but real life threats...well those things can be different......
My body stiffened as I listened to the words of my newly found friend. Was he kidding or was I getting ready to do something really foolish? I was kneeling down on the ground by my truck, waxing up the board I had just purchased from him. a 10'6" Mickey Munoz tuflite longboard, it was the monster longboard I always wanted to try. Perhaps this board contained the right amount of volume and curves to get me on the wave on some of the tough off-shore wind days. Today just happened to be one of those days and I had traveled 1 1/2 hours to meet him at a beach I never surf at. It was head-high and only a few guys were out. We stood there for a bit, debating going out here or driving an hour to a better spot. I just couldn't wait an hour and even though those waves out there were not inviting me to bring this huge log out and play with them, I just had to try it out then.
So, it was while I was waxing and getting pumped up about going out that I heard the words behind me: "My God, I don't think that guy even sees the shark in the face of that wave with him."
I sat back on my heels and thought, "It all boils down to if you feel lucky, punk."
I stood there for another 10 minutes and never saw a shark, went out and got stoked on two head-high waves and hauled ass back to shore...I can't really say why my heart was racing, but I gladly then drove an hour to another spot where they never heard of sharks.....

Finding Peace

"Because Daddy would rather spend it on his bimbo!"
Words overheard while working in the yard, wishing I had my iPod and was listening to some good tunes instead of the neighbors. It has been a real eye-opener, watching the woods around us turn into McMansions. Watching the dirt road get paved and then watching the parade of fancy cars for the big parties, and then watching the For Sale signs go up, soon becoming "Reduced" and "Pre-forclosure" and then finally hearing the arguing couples.
The downturn in the economy has been a favor to me, showing me what was real and what was pretend. My family, the mountains and the beach, those are all real and they stayed the same, regardless of how much money we have or things we possess. I've decided to invest in the one thing that matters besides that, and that is my health.
I said "Good Morning!" as I saw my neighbor walking her dog the other day and she just glared at me. I don't blame her, I just wish she could take a trip to the mountains...

Why Can't I Just Sit Back And Enjoy the Music?

I don't know if it's the Internet's fault or the fact I spent so many years working in the library doing research, but it seems like I always get obsessed and have dig in and find the complete history of anything I get excited about.
This time it was just a song, a simple song that resonated with me. The guitar riff sounded almost as if it came from my head, something I had been humming all my life. The lyrics were funny, thoughtful and inspiring all at the same time. I enjoyed this song that just happened to be on a used iPod I bought to replace the one that was destroyed in the hailstorm.
It was a country rock tune, a genre I don't normally listen to, but I loved this song and it's twang like a ugly pup from the dog pound. Then, just because I'm me, I had to dig around and find out more. All I can say is "I Wish I didn't know now, what I didn't know then".
Man, I don't ever watch American Idol, so the singer's name meant nothing to me, but once I found that he was somebody voted off the show, I knew what was next; yup, the song was written by a professional songwriter that has cranked out more hits than I could count.
Once more, my dream of a young songwriter working his way through smokey bars and leaving the farm for glory in LA has been been crumbled into small shiny pieces. It was the machine at work and what was presented on stage and on the song was just what we were supposed to get.
I did however, go post my praise on the songwriter's website. I'd love to hear his recorded version of the song someday....

The Early Birds Got The Waves

I think of myself as an early riser, and there have been many complaints over the years of me making too much noise too early in the morning. This day, however, I must have been one of the last people up and on the beach, and this was at 8:15 in the morning!
You see, Hurricane Bill was passing us by and just happened to be the perfect distance away to cause large waves and strong offshore wind. This meant big waves everywhere, but as the Cape around Cocoa Beach leaves some areas more protected, some places were getting giant closeouts, while the Jetties were seeing much smaller and more manageable waves. From the photo above, you can see that this spot that normally sports 0 surfers, now contained every surfboard sold in the last 5 years. I actually drove to 3 different unpopular spots before I could find a parking spot. I didn't know there were that many surfers in the area until this day.
The bottom line was that the waves looked good and it was inspiring to see so many of us in one place, but the waves were hard to catch and there were way too many surfers for the number of waves. Once more I got the lesson that a mediocre day of waves with a small crowd is much better than an epic day with giant crowds. Another reminder of why I need to be in Florida as opposed to Hawaii and California with their crowded surf spots.
Oh, and did I mention how nice and warm that water was?

Like We Don't Already Know the Answer

I'm seeing and hearing a lot of stuff lately. Grumbling about the president throwing all of our tax money to the greedy big businesses, bailing out the auto makers, and now healthcare. The big cry seems to be, "Who's going to pay for all of this?".
I started thinking, "What happened to the war?" It's still going on, right? Aren't our guys still getting shot at every day? But, that is not what is on the table right now. It's real funny how the most important thing in the world is suddenly something we no longer even discuss. On the other hand, talking about taxes going up, when times are tough, well sir, that's real easy to get riled up about and we have plenty of people getting all riled up.
It doesn't take a lot of smarts to see what is coming and it won't matter who is president when it happens. It will be the local taxes that will get us. Real estate is in the toilet, the population is dropping and new construction is almost non-existent. They have only one way to get that money and that is raising our taxes.
If life is but a game, and the game is Monopoly, then we are in the part of the game where somebody has a bunch of hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk and the only thing you have going for you is how many hits you can take.
Maybe someday they will trace all of this back to one single person that said, "Hey! Let's start making some really bad loans to people that could never pay them back!"...then we can tar and feather and ride him out of town on a rail, but until that day comes, it's best to be prepared to land on Boardwalk....

The Car Hauler

Sometimes I get a very sobering reminder of how good it is to be right here and now in my life. And, as in many cases, the thing I thought I saw was more important to me than what may have really happened.
This time it was because of big news story that happened near where I live and a place that I jog by every day while exercising. There was a woman a few years older than me and her emotionally disturbed teenager. He had some kind of psychotic episode and the bottom line was that the police shot him...4 times. He's been dead and they had the funeral and we all reflected on that, but I still run by the house every day and it occurs to me that it is not over for that mother and father by a long shot. Last night I thought I saw the dad, pacing in the driveway on his cellphone and then I saw a big rig, pulling a car trailer, like the kind you see delivering cars to dealerships, pulling up in front of his house. A big truck like that in a neighborhood is not a common sight and I started thinking, "they are having the kid's car disposed of", and once again I wanted to go home and hug every member of my family and think about just how glad I am to have one more day with them....

The Tour de Life

I was lying on the couch, looking out over the water at the hot morning sun. Another day in paradise, but I was too sunburned to be out there. I needed a recharge day after the long kayak paddle the day previous and somehow found myself glued to the TV, watching the long bicycle race; the Tour de France. I had been watching pieces of it here and there, but today was the finish. What I didn't get was that everyone already knew the winner. He merely had to ride this last 70 miles in the pack of riders and he won. Apparently, the last day of the race was more like a parade through town. I thought this until the race got to the last 4 or 5 laps around the center of town and then something interesting happened.
Now I really like bicycles and own a couple of decent ones, but no spandex clothing I'm glad to say. The most I've ridden in a day was 50 miles and I'm damn proud of that feat. I still remember that ride and the feeling that I didn't want to sit down for a long time after.
Back on the TV, these guys I was watching had ridden about 3000 miles in a week and they had just finished about 50 miles that morning, when the announcer said, "here come the sprinters!". Huh? Then he proceeds to explain that there are men in the race that live to ride that one last day of the race and win just that one section. After all of that riding for a week, and then riding twice as fast as I ever have for 50 miles, they say, okay enough lollygagging, NOW I start racing. I saw this pack of young men pour it on going up hill faster than I could imagine going downhill. I saw energy that I could not believe in their faces and the way they pumped the pedals. How could they go through this whole thing thinking, screw who gets the big prize, I'm going for it today? Doesn't matter if they fell on Wednesday, underperformed on Thursday, and struggled on Mont Blanc.
I just couldn't get over it, riding that biggest race known to man and then sprinting on to the end just like they were going for the biggest prize of all.
I am definitely inspired.

What the Hell?

Man, I have been around a long time and I sure don't get this. The economy is in a slump, business is down, everyone can see it. People have lost jobs and have little hope of getting new ones. And the news, if it says anything close to good, it comes with "a jobless recovery", meaning that businesses might become more profitable, but you still won't be able to buy anything.
On top of that, there is something missing. What happened to 'deals'? Why aren't Corvettes dirt cheap? Why aren't the prices on electronic stuff dropping like crazy? Craigslist, my barometer for life, is nuts right now. Rather than seeing laid-off yuppies dumping their jetskis to pay the rent, I am seeing the crooks out in full force. The phrase "woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks" comes to mind. Used stuff, a lot of it probably stolen shows up on the list, many times for as much as you would pay for it in a store. Is anyone buying this stuff? Is anyone dumb enough to fall for this, or is the real problem that someone is telling these guys "you can double your money on Craigslist"?
I always thought that the good side of a depression was that if you had any cash, you could buy up stuff cheap....another urban myth, methinks.
The truth may be that what really happens in this depression, is that the weak will be separated from their cash.

Got It Done!

I wanted to do this for a really long time and it finally got done. It's a funny thing about endurance stuff. You just want to see if you can do it. For many years I have fished around the islands of southwest Florida and for almost as long as I have kayaked, I knew people made a big deal out of an excursion from Pine Island to the barrier island, Cayo Costa. I knew it was only about a 15 minute trip by our fishing boat, but about 4 hours by kayak. I always wanted to see if I could make it, but could find no one else foolhardy enough to come along. Then came Janne, young, fit, and ready for just about any challenge. I took him kayaking once, and he lasted 2 hours and wanted more. That was the hook. I told him about my plans, but that he probably was not ready and needed to really think about it....yup, he fell for it! We paddled 8 miles and made the island in the 4 hours and then paddled back to Cabbage key for lunch (a big cheeseburger). Finally we made the journey back to the house on Pine Island. All in all, we traveled 16.1 miles in 7 1/2 hours of travel time. We had good weather, but it was boiling hot and the water was almost as hot as the air. The lesson I learned from this trip is that the only hour that matters is the last one, the one in which you would trade your mother for an easy chair and some air conditioning...

Foxhole Faith

I sat there alone in the dark, watching one of the most dimly lit movies I can remember. The movie is Passengers, and it is full of the feeling that 'none of this is real' and the main character is going to wake up in the psycho ward, or dead. I'm thinking to myself that this has been done before, and there is no afterlife and it is all a bunch of hooey. I chuckled to myself there in the dark, knowing quite well that not more than 90 minutes before I was singing quite a different tune....
I was a mile from home when it hit hard. If life is at all like the movies, then there had been plenty of foreshadowing of this. Articles in the paper about local deaths from lightning, movies with people getting hit by lightning. But, I was sure that the storm was still a ways off and would probably just go around, and, like many people that do unhealthy things in the name of health, I found myself running full blast in a hail storm. Yes, in order to curb my weight, and prove my fitness, I was most likely going to have to purchase new $150 running shoes, new $300 cell phone, and new $250 ipod. Plus, I remembered some story about a guy's earphones burned into his ears from a lightning strike. I quickly yanked the earphones off. Running in the rain sure was fun. I kept telling myself that the lightning was still far away, until it started cracking all around me. I felt just like a soldier trying to dodge bullets while running across an empty field. The goal had been 5 miles, and I had completed a mile and a half when the storm hit. I turned for home and realized that I really had a problem. For some strange reason, I can easily remember repeatedly looking at my heartrate monitor and seeing 163 bpm, while hail bounced crazily off the watch. Was that from how fast I was running or how scared I was? I opened up the direct line to God, making promises about how I would do better, and never again even think about running when it was thundering out.
Then I got home, dried out the shoes, the phone, and the ipod. Turned on the movie and felt superior to a film about supernatural events.
...btw, seriously God, just in case you're listening. Thanks.

It Didn't Take Long

Flying in the plane, trying to hold onto that peace that came with the trip the the Northwest. Friendly people, comfortable temperatures, scenery that is too good for postcards, I wanted to keep that glow burning within me and have it act as a forcefield against the reality of the town my home has turned into. It was exciting once upon a time as the realtors and builders got excited, making money and building up apartments and condos and then it all fell apart and now it's two tons of steaming fertilizer in a one ton truck. But, for the moment, I could imagine a life of running in the sun without hardly sweating while I looked into the mountains to spot some wildlife. I would treat others as I would like to be treated and perhaps that would spread like some kind of good virus..
I was startled out of my reverie by a middle-aged, well-dressed woman saying, "Move it! I have a connection flight to catch!"
"I'm sorry, I have a flight to catch as well, but I'm getting down the overhead luggage for a couple that can't get it themselves."
"Well, I don't have any luggage, so just let me by!"
Poof...I'm in Atlanta getting pushed and shoved and got my hand on my wallet, not thinking for a moment of letting go of my backpack....I didn't even make it all the way home and the glow is a distant memory.

3000 Miles In A Black Charger

It's done. The guy at the car rental place shook his head in disbelief that I brought back his car with so many miles on it. 3000 miles in two weeks! A whole lot of it was back roads and climbing up mountains and seeing the things that were not on the map. I learned quite a bit about the Pacific Northwest and the people there and I do love the place. Even the darkest times seemed to not be as bad as I'm used to. I did not really find people totally demoralized by the recession, although you could see the effect of it. How are people doing with less? It seems like most of them did not want that much to start with. They just wanted to live a life that was different than what you see in the daily news on TV. A life separate from the grim reality of the big cities and too crowded feeling we have at home.
If there was one thing I'd like to hang onto, it was seeing a young Japanese couple on the top of Logan's Pass in Glacier National Park in the Visitor Center. They were all excited, reading the poster depicting the plant life that could be found in the extremely cold location. I don't understand the Japanese language, and I truly wondered if anyone within a thousand miles could have translated anything for them, but they found us! This wasn't International Drive, this wasn't Disney World or Miami Beach. This couple wasn't the only one like that either. I was so happy to see that adventurous people from other countries were finding the beauty of America in the backwoods. We don't suck! We are not just what they see on TV and they are not just the people we see on TV.
I'm beginning to think that my people are the ones on the top of that mountain.

the Best Parts Are The Wrong Turns

There had to be some disappointment somewhere on this journey. And of course, it was at the place I had the most expectations for: Hood River, OR. I have seen many magazine photos of the windsurfing there and knew that it was Mecca for the sport. I even ran into a guy about my age at a gas station in the middle of the desert and spoke with him about it. He had a big truck stuffed full of windsurfing gear, 4 or more boards and masts and just bulging with sailbags. He was from Canada and was making the trek to Hood River for some 4th of July sailing. Man, I will never complain about an hour drive to the beach again!
We finally got there about 11 in the morning after a very long drive to see this place. It turned out, as in life, that the drive there was more important than the place itself. The town was very nice, and extremely cool place to hang out with your lady, but the windsurfing spot itself was a bit of a letdown. In fact, it was much like the place where I windsurf at home, only with a lot more people. The wind was blowing, but not enough, and people were either sitting on the shore getting sun, or slogging through the cold water. As I learned in Hawaii, I am better off at home with the warm water and the once in a while wind that we get. Here, windsurfing is big, even the sports section of the newspaper has a section for the windsurfing forecast. These people spend lots of money and time to enjoy a few months in the summer. A windsurfer from Florida should never complain the rest of his life.
It turned out that the best part of the day was after I took a wrong turn near the ocean in Oregon and found myself on a lonesome back road and face to face with a deer that didn't mind me at all and even posed for photographs. After a trip of seeking wildlife in the woods, this was probably the biggest surprise...one more life lesson..

The Montana Girl

She was of that indeterminable age between 18 and 25, grown up but still carrying around some of that youthful innocence. Blond and fair, with long hair carelessly swept back from her face, she had too many curves, but most boys wouldn’t mind. She was our waitress in this log cabin restaurant just outside Glacier National Park in a very rural setting. To get an idea of how things are for residents, there are less people in Montana than in Central Florida, and you could put the whole state of Florida inside of Montana. And right then, we were in a sparsely populated section of Montana. Turns out that she had been raised on a 1000 acre farm surrounded by her whole extended family. She went to a one room school house with 30 other kids and already had ‘broke a horse’ and ‘rode a bull’, but to me she was just like one of my kids, wanting to be on her own, getting away from her mother and find a man that wasn’t just a rodeo clown. She explained that the green stuff we saw growing everywhere was alfalfa and how it was harvested and about hunting on her cousin’s 10,000 acre farm in east Montana. I said that the only deer I had seen were right in the middle of these alfalfa fields and that would have been like shooting fish in a barrel. We both laughed and then she said “Well you have to be up higher, like on a hill or it’s all over. Last year, there was one female that looked around and saw that all of the other elk were gone and she was left behind, and she probably thought that nobody cared about her. She was wrong. I put one right between her eyes and now she is in my freezer!”
Goosebumps crawled across my arm as I realized that my kids are the innocent ones…

Peaceful Solitude - Good Luck With That

Two hours alone on this old country gravel road. The temperature was in the 60's and the air actually felt scrubbed clean. I rode up and down hills and saw some scenery that made me want to just keep on going until I hit Canada. The roadside farms were all quiet, hardly a bird flew by and the only people I had seen so far were a young woman in camo-wear and her young daughter, riding on a hunting 4 wheeler. The Mom waved her coffee mug and the young girl waved both arms in abandon, having the most possible fun on this picture perfect day. I felt a million miles away from the city and 'too many rats in a cage' feeling that we live with day to day. I was sure that anyone living here, did it on purpose in order to get away from all of that.
As I finally completed the gravel road loop of 6 miles, I pulled over, wondering if there was time to do it again, or just ride back on the side of the highway to our rented condo. I heard the first car of the day pulling up behind me and I turned to give a friendly hello as I took in the blacked-out windows, large rims and coffee-can muffler on the dark green sedan. As the Mitsubishi Eclipse wound his gears out going up the hill, my lip curled from a smile to a frown and I shook my fist in the air, fruitlessly yelling at the long gone sports car. "Damned Rice-burners! Is nothing sacred in this country!?"

At Least I Didn't Try To Guess Her Weight

I could tell as she placed the coffee on the table and her hands shook a little, that she was pretty new to waiting on tables. She was an attractive young woman, with medium length dark hair with bangs and a little girl voice. I estimated her to be in the her mid twenties we were her only table. In fact, we were the only customers at the Grill right then. Sitting in the outdoor cafe of this Golf resort in the middle of nowhere in Idaho. It's truly hard to describe the hours of empty country roads we drove to get there, but about 20 years ago, some investor thought this was a good idea, to put a golf course, fancy houses and some timeshare condos far away from anything. Thank God for my GPS and my absolute belief that it could find the place.
As our waitress backed away from the table, I wondered about this girl and how different her life must be than mine. Did she live on some large farm and feed the horses and cows before she came to work each day? How could she seem so innocent having lived the hard life one would have to live around here? I started thinking along the lines of Gilbert Grape and the urban kid trapped in the hick town. I sat back in the chair and enjoyed the sun setting over the mountains and thought how strange it must be to go each day from this place to some old falling down shack of a house to an abusive father and five brothers and sisters, and a mother that could do nothing but find fault. It must be hard on this girl that was trying to earn enough money to get a bus ticket out of the country and into the world of MTV.
Finally, my wife broke down and asked her about where she lived and I found that she was actually from San Diego, and just got out of the Marines where she had been a jet mechanic. She and her boyfriend had come here to spend the summer with his grandfather while she saved enough money to go back to college.
I sat back and pondered the great meal and decent coffee and my great insight into human beings. Yes, there is a lot you can know from just looking at a person......

I Guess You Had To Be There

This needs to be told, but I have a funny feeling that it will be a long time before I find the incident humorous. Even the ones most injured at the time are laughing about it, but somehow I can't.
It started with the best of intentions. My wife's knee had been acting up and a Cortizone shot from her doctor only made things worse. On the day before we left on our journey, we had gone to an emergency clinic to get her knee drained and there was the question of having a vacation at all. She was determined, and that was how we happened to be leaving the Seattle airport with her in the wheelchair, piled high with our bags and me learning what it is like to be with a handicapped person. It was going to be a trip of riding in the car and looking for places without steps. That was okay and I seemed to be getting the hang of having to tilt the chair back to go over bumps. I miscalculated on one thing though. In order to save a little time and energy, I got us on a "people-mover" which is a long flat escalator kind of thing. About halfway down it, she turned and said, "I don't think you are supposed to have wheelchairs on these things." Panic started to well up in my head, but I looked ahead and saw the looming lip at the end of the mover. All I had to do was to tilt the chair way back and sort of pop a wheelie over the lip. I knew it could be done, if I could time it just right. Just like in the movies, time seemed to slow down. I watched the lip of the mover get closer and closer and tilted the chair back until the wheels were at least 2 inches in the air. The next step would be critical, but I hit the lip and instead the wheels froze as if the brake was on. There seemed to be a slight pause and the wheelchair went sideways, suitcases in the air and she pitched forward. I worried about her fall and the wheelchair for only a moment, and then I learned the next thing about people movers: Everything most go forward. I went on top of the wheelchair and her Mom and Dad went on top of that. I started to get up and then saw a crowd of people trying to walk backwards on the mover to get away from the pileup, and I scrambled to get our stuff out of the way. We were all stunned and folks were coming from everywhere to see if we were okay.
We survived it, and all that is left is a big black bruise on her Dad's leg and she is walking better than before we left on the trip. They are all laughing about the big adventure that started our trip, but to me it is one more reminder about how suddenly things can go very bad.

The Last Thing I Thought I Would Ever See Here

So I saw them throw the fish at the Pike Place Fish Market, and I ate fish tacos at a really good eatery in the waterfront, but the real reason I was on this trip was to get off the grid, and that was gonna be tougher than I thought. The traffic in Seattle was not as bad as a I feared, but I did get stuck because of an accident during rush hour. It ended up being over 4 hours driving to Port Angeles, but as in most cases, the journey was as important as the destination. The drive was amazing, with snow-capped mountains on my left, giant bridges to cross, beautiful dark blue water, and the bright green permanent Christmas trees everywhere. I was doing what most people don't do. I was driving all around the water instead of taking the long ferry across to Victoria, Canada. I wanted to see the countryside and this was the perfect way to do it. The wildest part of the ride was crossing the bridge to Bainbridge. the wind was kicking up harder than I have seen it outside of a hurricane and at times a wave would splash up onto the bridge itself. I had both hands firmly on the wheel, hoping I was going to make it across. I then drove through nothing but woods for hours, hoping that I had the gas to make it back out of here. Around 8:30 pm, I was still driving and it was daylight as if it was 3 in the afternoon back home. I had made it to Port Angeles and found the ferry I would take the next morning. I found a passable hotel room and was steered to the restaurant next door, which was great. I had no reason to expect anything at all, but the waitress made sure she earned one of the best tips I have ever given, and I was one happy guy. I had made it! I was at the farthest tip of the Olympic penninsula. I was so far out, that I bet most folks that live in Seattle have never made it here. This was truly off the beaten path and I marvelled at that as I stood and stretched back, looking once more at the Olympic mountains with their snow and clouds.
That is when a silver Chevy Suburban drove by with surfboards on the roof...

Having Slept In Seattle

I'm writing from the opposite place of where I reside. Having recently left the steaming hellhole called Orlando, that place where t-shirts, shorts and flip-flips should be required wearing (and that is for in-doors work), I flew northwestward to the land where the sun never shines and the temperature is always like an air conditioned office. Of course I have been fortunate enough to hit this city on a beautiful, sunny day and everyone here is more than pleasant. From convenience store, to rental car, to hotel, everyone acts like, "I made it here, what more could I ask for?". I'm a little skeptical that these attitudes can prevail over a winter of gray skies and driveling rain, but for this trip, I would like to pretend that it is always like this in Nirvana, I mean Seattle.
The first impression I got from downtown is that everything looks old and really cool. Made me wish I had some dreadlocks and an old beat-up guitar and could stand on the street corner and play. Always present in the background is the elegant Mount Rainier, which unfortunately to me stands for a beer can. When I was a kid, there was some brand of beer that had a picture of Mount Rainier on the can, and dang it, that Mountain does look just like the one on that beer can.
The goal of this trip is for me to get as peaceful as this place. So far, I have only totally freaked out about 3 times, but that was getting here, not being here....

What The Great Dane Lady Thought

She had that look, as if she was able to transport Rodeo Dr into our small town. They built all of these fancy McMansions around us, the Beverly Hillbillies, and she was in her extra large Coach sunglasses, bleach blond hair, perfect body in a sports bra, running shorts and the leash on the Great Dane. One of the new McMansion occupants. You could guess her age, but you would be wrong. She was coming towards us on the sidewalk, upper lip already starting to curl as if she just stepped in something her dog might have left behind. Somehow I felt that look was for the three of us. There was the old bald-headed guy with no shirt and a big plastic garbage can with a nappy old towel hanging out, his petite wife, who was giving directions and curling her lip back at the blond, and the young carefree red-headed 20-something daughter, who wore clothes as an afterthought. The three of us were on a mission of great import, but I had the feeling that the blond could never understand. She could give money to the homeless, she could attend a ball to raise money for endangered species, but could she do this? Because, in that large garbage can, was a very large soft-shelled turtle that had somehow crawled up from the lake, looking for a place to lay eggs. She must have gone too far and tunneled under too many fences, and by the time we found her in our backyard she was trapped and worn out.
The only thing funnier than the looks between us and the Great Dane woman, was the scene of the three of us trying to capture a large snapping turtle. We did it though, and the bravest of us turned out to be the redhead, who figured that if you put a towel over the head of the turtle, she couldn't see to bite you. Once she was in the garbage can, it was just a 10 minute walk down the street to the canal, we we set her free, back in the water where she belonged.
I can only surmise what the blond would have thought if she knew there was a giant turtle in the garbage can..turtle stew for the neighbor's supper?

Appearances

Sometimes there is satisfaction in the smallest of things. Even though it wasn't that hot, a bit of sweat was lining up on my forehead, any minute threatening to cascade down my face. I was concentrating and feeling that good feeling of doing good on several levels at once. I was sitting in my truck in the parking lot of a strip mall while my wife and daughter were shopping in that black hole of a place; the Dollar Store. Many wasted hours of my life have been spent in those stores, trying to not look like a shoplifter while my wife endlessly compared and pondered items for her class at school. The combination of wife and daughter in the store at the same time meant I needed to find something useful to do, and today I really did it. I had some problem interior pieces in my truck. Things installed with permanent glue that the maker said could not be removed any way at all. But, me armed with with Titanium Gerber hunting knife and plenty of time to kill, proved them wrong. Slowly and carefully, I bore down on the serated blade against the rubbery plastic, feeling much the same feeling as deboning a fish. Yes, I was getting the impossible done, and I was paying the sweat no mind as I felt the pleasure of using my time in the the best possible manner.
There was a gleam in my eye as I looked up to see my daughter standing there outside my truck, staring at the shaved-head old man, sweating, shiny eyes, and a big hunting knife in his hand.
"Dad, what are you doing? You ARE the kind of person you warned me about!"

UP

We went to see UP (the animated movie) and it started off badly...they raised the price again at the movies and even with my discount, I was choking on the cost. We get there just in time and find easy seating, but where's our 3-d glasses? We are quickly clued in that the 3-d version is next door and started 20 minutes ago...fortunately that was 20 minutes of previews and the short film before...unfortunately the only 3 seats left in the theater were in the upper left corner. No matter....all of this left my mind by the first 5 minutes of the movie. All I can say is this is the best movie I have seen this year. I don't know if it hits me differently than the young children in the audience, but the story and pacing was so right on that I was fully involved the whole time.
The previews gave me almost no real idea of what was coming. The movie is not really that funny all the time, more sentimental than anything. The attention to detail was what grabbed me. There was a mantelpiece in the old man's house and at one point in the story they mention that he bought plane tickets to South America for himself and his wife that they never got to use. Later on, you can spot the tickets on the mantle...(oops, got something in my eye just now).
It's worth it to go to the theater, and it's worth it to see it in 3-d....

The Dickean Universe

I just didn't finish watching "Timecrimes" because I was too weirded out by the overdubbing. You knew the film was in Spanish, but they had dubbed the English in so well that the lips seemed to actually say English words, but the voices sounded ethereal as if recorded in a large church. I would much rather have had subtitles.
The movie did kind of get me thinking about our perception of reality and all of the movies based on Philip K. Dick books that mainly question our senses. If you can't trust your eyes, ears, and memory, just how firmly can you grasp our world? I loved his books and need to go back and find the ones I missed. You should read "Ubik" if nothing else. I believe the movie "Vanilla Sky" with Tom Cruise is the closest plot to that book.
Back in what I believe to be "real life", I am having such a time. It is as if things I know very well have been transported to some strange alternate world. My computer is familiar, as are some of the people around me, but instead of working in this really cool school for counter culture kids, I am in a whisper-quiet bank environment. My shoes actually whisk on the carpet as I head to the restroom and encounter these other strange people that give me the "what are you doing here?" look. Looks....lots of strange looks, and strained smiles. Nervous laughter and a parking lot that seems to say, I'm almost full right now, but who knows about tomorrow?
All the time I'm thinking, I'm turning into a banker. In a week, it will be hard to remember days of gross-out humor, fart jokes, and banter about basketball games. Now, there is the computer screen, lunch, and the restroom, nothing more.
Another book comes to mind: The man in the grey flannel suit. I need to find that book fast...

The View From 55

Today is 55 years on the planet for me. I have the distinct pleasure of enjoying life much longer than I ever thought possible. My son took photos of me surfing this weekend and while I have never reached the place where I amazed myself or anyone else with my skills, the fact that I'm still there is plenty for me. Life is good today. I have reached my goals in most things in life. If there is one thing that makes me happiest, it is that I feel I have achieved a balance. I'm finding that this is much more important to me than having much more of each aspect of life.
I remember a big disappointment was that I never got to live on the beach, something I thought was necessary. But here I am going over Dusty's photos from last Saturday, thinking that having a son that would patiently sit for hours to get a few pix of his old man getting some waves....man, that beats living on the beach any day....

Breakfast With The Bird

Perhaps it is merely contentment, but the words aren't just pouring out these days. I'm sitting here with Bogey, my Blue and Gold mccaw, sharing our breakfast of walnuts and banana. I'm the one doing the typing while he investigates anything in the kitchen that may possibly have changed since yesterday. Life seems to be on an even keel and the little things in life are just that and nothing more.
The biggest things coming up are counting my 55th year on the planet and the job move to a new remote building. I may have been concerned about those things in the past, but right now they since less important than the next piece of walnut.
Spring looks like it has decided to become a roaring hot Florida summer already and my thoughts turn toward the really important things in life; music and surfing. Like my family, they have stayed with me and I cling to the idea that I'll be playing the Doors in an Old Folk's home someday and pulling out a bar of surfwax to sniff and recall my days of gliding down the face of some glassy wave.
There is a saying, "If you used to be a surfer, then you never were." As a surfer who spent his life inland, I think I understand that saying as well as anyone could...

The Salt Water Buddha

I can't say why, because I really don't like reading about religion, but I do like reading books about adventures in life and how someone can learn from that. I'm reading the Salt Water Buddha now, which is one young man's journey of self-discovery. He runs away from home to live and surf in Hawaii and learns along the way that the journey itself is the important part. This is either the main recurring theme in books like this or the one I always pick up on. It started out with me saying, "one day I will be retired and boy will I have fun traveling and seeing the world then!". I later looked at the world of declining fortunes and realized that I might be lucky to keep a job at Home Depot so I can have medical insurance when I'm that old. So, I go on the adventures now and have little bits of my retirement in advance.
The other main theme is the quest I seem to be on to find that bit of wisdom that will finally make everything come together and make sense. From my readings (and even Kung Fu Panda!) I can already figure that the wise old man I am seeking will end up being me.
I have actually started getting some of this into my daily life. I now truly understand that surfing is not the 3 seconds on the face of a wave or the number of waves I rode in a particular session. Surfing starts with me pulling the bar of wax from my drawer and smelling it, driving over the causeway and getting my first whiff of saltwater, and even the struggle through the whitewater to get outside. The trick is loving every single part of it. You really don't have to be that smart to know this, you just need to be reminded once in a while...at least I do.

A Big Thank You

As I look around and take in all of the bad things in our world right now, there is one thing I know for sure; it is never ALL bad or good. I used to think of something going wrong and believing that the whole day was shot, or if enough bad things happened, the whole year was shot. And you know, I'm kinda getting that sort of news these days. 2009 sucks and all we can do is hope for 2010 to be better.
However, our gig at the 'Flats for Cinco de Mayo, was one of those shining moments that I seek in life: nothing but fun. We had so many people that if any one else had come, they probably left because there was nowhere to sit and the line for food and drink was so long. Among those that stayed, we had family, friends, long lost friends,well-wishing neighbors from our community, and really nice strangers.
They say you can't really seek happiness, but a few beers and good times with all of those people put a large smile on my face. If that wasn't what I was seeking, then it could never be found.
Thanks guys, for making absolutely sure that no one could ever say that 2009 was all bad....

What Is It About This Time Of Year?

Trimming the plants, spring cleaning, big changes at work, and in church they made sure you got the references to Easter and its meaning in there. This is the time of year to let go of old things and embrace the new. It's more difficult when you liked what you had and what is being offered is something less. But, I have learned it firsthand in life, in order to try something new, you have to be willing to stop doing something else. Some of the best surprises in my life were situations like that.
Pretty soon I will be moving away from some great friends and I know that even in this day of instant communication, it is hard to maintain those friendships from a distance, or perhaps THAT itself is the lesson; to keep those friendships going, even if it is more difficult. Then there is the possibility of new friendships and adventures. Maybe even a song or two.

You Can Feel It In The Air

April is feeling like the month of change. We have gone from drought to a weather pattern that keeps us guessing. There is a hot wind blowing right now and the forecast is for lots of rain, but they keep missing on the rain part. My wife's school might get closed down and I'm am supposed to get moved with my department to a building my company purchased to deal with the overflow of staff. It's crazy, like watching the construction of high-rise condos when the housing market is upside down.
The cool thing about life when things start getting less predictable is that we start to question the most basic parts, like what it is we truly desire. Is it money? A life of leisure? The adoration of the crowd? Sometimes it seems like all I really want are some snapshots of me with my friends and family having fun.

Back Among the Living

I'm finally starting to feel normal after a bout with the stomach flu. Nothing like a short break with an illness like that to remind you about how quickly it could all be over. Lying there, curled up in fetal position on the bathroom floor, I could see how people come to the decision that life is just too painful to take. It was a lesson to not take it for granted that almost every day of my life I wake up happy and ready for the world.
We had a band party last weekend and got a little jam going on. That reminded me of why I"m doing this; you can't get that sort of thing playing alone in the studio. Sometimes you just need to cut loose. You get a moment where everything melts away but the beat, and you are very close to the cave men dancing around a fire thousands of years ago.
It was worth the price of beer and hotdogs to get a few minutes of that energy. It needs to happen again soon.

All I Have To Do Is Last 3 More Years

I come to learn that the world only has 3 more years to go, according to the Mayan calendar and the I Ching and other sources that predict the future. For some people that is a horrible thing, thinking that the end is near, but the truth is, it is always near. For me, it was a bit of a comfort. Hey, I can last three more years of a bad economy, and whatever else comes our way. The idea of trying to last for 50 more years is much more daunting.
I figure if you only have 3 years left, it is about time to start hitting the waves and playing some music!

What Set Him Off

There is a local news item about a man that owned a piece of real estate and mowed down the trees and invited homeless people to live there with a few small signs. This outraged a nearby subdivision, a golf community of 'over 55ers'. The president of the community complained to the city, phone calls, and finally the newspaper goes out and gets photos and the story. Nobody seemed to have a clue why the man suddenly did this, but at the end of the article there was something about his land not having any access to a road but to the private road maintained by the community. Still, nobody had spoken with the man, no one knew why in the world he would do such a thing.
I laughed out loud at the words that were not written, thinking of the snobs in the golfing community thinking they had this guy over a barrel because he had no access, never thinking he would go to the extreme of setting up a homeless camp in their front yard. There is no bad guy in this story, just a struggle between the rock and the hard place. I laugh because I am familiar with the people who think that if they command it, it is done. If things don't go their way, well then things had better change. Sooner or later these people finally learn. The illusion was that the president of the golfing community was in control. Maybe he was a politician before he retired, maybe he was a big boss in a factory. Now, he is learning to contend with the fading thoughts of being in power. At least in this case, a homeless guy got a job watching the property.

While He Was Reading The Sad Poetry

It's either because our new president refers to him frequently, the bad times, or the fact that president's day is right around the corner, but Abraham Lincoln is coming up in conversation a lot lately. One article I read yesterday stated that it was known that he suffered from Depression and one of his means of coping with that condition was reading sad poetry. It was also said that he was the only president known to write poetry, but I'm not as sure of that.
Well, we're living in times now that could depress a happy person, much less anyone that really has problems. There was news today about the housing market that basically said that you might as well slit your wrists now so you don't have to deal with the pain coming up next year. And jobs? Well, there just won't be any, will there?
Then I turn to the forums on the music biz, and it's dog-eat-dog over the little scraps of money to be made. Everyone is trying to figure out how to succeed in a business that is difficult when times are good, much less the current climate.
It makes me think that Lincoln was known for rising out of the mire and into greatness in spite of the obstacles that faced him. We need to think of that now and how it is the time to go for it when everyone expects failure...or we could read some sad poetry.

If Only You Knew Where To Look

Maybe if you carry around a decent camera and click enough photos, sooner or later anyone would get lucky. I sure did this weekend. I froze my butt off camping at Blue Springs in Florida...but one thing the place is famous for is being the winter hangout for manatees. The water is a constant 72 degrees and that is nice and warm in the winter. For some reason, more and more manatees are showing up there and I just happened to catch this photo at 7:30 am, before the park opened and right after my first cup of coffee. What I saw before me was like an impressionist painting, the sun coming up and the steam rising from the water and what at first seemed to be boulders in the stream. Once your eyes focused and realized that you were seeing something along the lines of 200 manatees in close quarters, the thrill deepened. The photo was right there, the image that the longer you looked, the more you saw.
The most amazing part is that in spite of our fellow Floridians best efforts at paving over all that is nature, this still exists only 22 miles away from the big city!

Sleeping below 30 degrees and making friends with the animals

I fully admit that I was a little afraid of trying to sleep the night in a tent in the woods when the weatherman was telling us there was a freeze warning and we were not allowed to have a fire.
We decided to have a charcoal fire anyway and the ranger came to check on us and make sure that we knew that it was going to be in the 20's that night. I was already shivering in my big coat and gloves, standing next to the fire. It seemed like the temperature was dropping quickly and I wasn't at all sure I could sleep or even if my truck would be a warmer alternative. It was about then that we noticed 3 rather large raccoons wandering in and out of the dark, going to check the door of my dad's heated camper (that had no room for me!) and inching in closer to our group, as if wanting to be near the fire (or food!).
I grabbed a cup of hot chocolate and finally made my way to my tent and the sleeping bag and quilt that turned out to be plenty warm as long as I kept it zipped up. I came bolt wide awake about an hour later, hearing sounds in my tent and finding that my cup of cocoa was spilled and a really big raccoon heading back out of the tent. I zipped the tent up tight, but he came back two more times and finally, it was leaving a lantern on the rest of the night that kept him out. I guess this was really more his campsite than mine, and chocolate tastes just as good to a raccoon as it does to a frozen Florida boy.

Still Crazy

It's dark and rainy outside and the kind of weather that drops 30 degrees in a few hours. Yep, and into this, I am going on a camping trip. There is a ban on open fires because of the previous drought, and I sure hope the ranger will feel some pity and let us have a fire.
Who in their right mind would do this? Well, I'm still holding the image in my mind of the guy I saw complete the Appalachian trail, coming in from the snow on New Year's day. If he could do that, than I can be miserable, freezing cold for a few days...while my nice warm house, with a big screen TV and fireplace is only 1 hour away.
Oh well, nobody wants to be the girly-boy that calls it off...so here we go.

this is a test

Are we crazy or what? Cold weather camping in Florida, while it's nothing compared to hiking the mountains in the snow, you do have to wonder why. Blue springs is there and the manatees are in, hanging around the 72 degree water, trying to stay warm, while we do the same in our tents. The only problem is that things are so dry, there is a ban on fires, so we will be shivering around a gas heater or charcoal grill.
But, it's the guys and fishing poles and kayaks, so we'll figure it out.